Movies and tv shows one after another have proved that 2017 is all about daddy issues. Don’t argue with me. It’s a fact. This information has slowly been pervading your brain. You’re becoming filled with daddy issues. You can’t help it and neither can the writers and producers of media.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is rife with daddy issues. Gamora hates her adoptive daddy who killed her real daddy. Peter who hasn’t had a daddy his whole life has finally found his daddy and so has Rocket in an interesting turn of events. Rocket was made by deranged scientists or trigger-happy animal lovers, but he’s found a caring daddy in Yondu.
Some rando space pirate that Yondu probably doesn’t know the name of, also seems to consider Yondu his daddy. He goes so far as to place Yondu’s mind whip on his own head at the end of the movie. So presumptuous.
One bad daddy
What I understand from Vol. 2 is that the biggest, baddest daddy of them all was Yondu. In every one of his cells, there was a tiny daddy lifting weights so obviously he was too much of a daddy to stay alive. The universe couldn’t handle that much daddy so he explodes in a planet-consuming splatter of guts and agony, taking the ultimate breeding, but not loving daddy, Ego, with him. Ego knew how to make them babies, but he sure didn’t know how to keep them. Like he literally had a pile of dead babies in an underground cavern.
Pirates of the Caribbean definitely continued this trend with the two main characters longing for their daddies. The young replacement for Orlando Bloom, Henry, longs for his grungy daddy who has been trapped under the sea for all of poor Henry’s life. The feminist replacement for Keira Knightley, Carina, wants to find out who her father is. In a tragic twist of fate she discovers her daddy right before he heroically leaps into a canyon of water to protect her.
Boruto is an anime about Naruto’s son who is named… Yes, you guessed it, Boruto. Its characters have complicated problems, like my daddy works too hard as hokage and won’t come home. Or my daddy works too hard as a spy and won’t come home and when he does he’s too tired to spend time with me. Or even my daddy doesn’t want me to become a shinobi but I’m becoming one anyway. Every episode is very riveting…
Here are some other movies and why their characters have problems involving daddies.
The Mummy: Ahmanet had to kill her daddy because he wasn’t going to let her be empress after her baby brother, aka the new bitch in town, was born. (Let’s all bow our heads for a moment to the Mummy’s failure in box office. I thought it wasn’t as bad as other people thought but who cares what I think.)
The Lego Batman: We always knew batman had daddy issues because of his dead father who had a gazillion secrets, but this movie adds more evidence that daddy issues are what 2017 is about.
Spider-Man: Yeah, his daddy is dead and he’s got a loving kind-of mom in his caring aunt, but Ironman is in town now and he’s taking on a very daddy-like role by lecturing Peter on.
Logan: He’s one bad-ass dying daddy who’s not ready to be a daddy. His daughter who grew up without her daddy is going to lose him no matter what he chooses.
Wonder Woman: Zeus made her out of clay but she wasn’t born out of good old-fashioned daddy love. Nope, she was born to kill other gods. There’s nothing else to say besides she doesn’t let her daddy issues hold her back.
And that’s all I’ve got, but if you know anymore reasons why 2017 and daddies are so tight, then feel free to share.
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